Oh, the Irony: Free Cross-Stitch Pattern of JD Vance in Drag (Because Why Not?)

Oh, JD Vance. The man, the myth, the Hillbilly Elegy legend. A self-proclaimed champion of “traditional values” and a vocal critic of anything that smacks of LGBTQ+ culture, Vance has made it abundantly clear where he stands on issues like drag queens, gender expression, and the broader queer community. But here’s the thing about life: it has a wicked sense of humor. And sometimes, that humor comes in the form of a photograph from Vance’s Yale days—where he, yes, he, dressed in drag.

Now, we’re not here to judge (okay, maybe a little). We’re here to celebrate the art of cross-stitch and the delicious irony of it all. So, without further ado, we present to you: a free cross-stitch pattern of JD Vance in drag. Because nothing says “self-awareness” like stitching a picture of a man who hates drag culture… dressed in drag.

The Backstory: A Tale of Hypocrisy (and Sequins)

Let’s set the scene. It’s Yale University. JD Vance, future vice president, senator and cultural commentator, is living his best life. And at some point during his time there, he decided to participate in a drag event. Cue the wigs, the makeup, the glitter—the whole nine yards. Fast forward to today, and Vance has become one of the loudest voices railing against drag queens, transgender rights, and anything that doesn’t fit neatly into his narrow worldview.

But hey, we’re not here to dwell on the hypocrisy (okay, maybe just a little). We’re here to immortalize this moment in cross-stitch form. Because if there’s one thing the internet loves, it’s a good dose of irony—and this pattern delivers it in spades.

Why This Pattern? (Besides the Obvious)

Look, we get it. Cross-stitch is usually reserved for quaint sayings, cute animals, and idyllic landscapes. But where’s the fun in that? Sometimes, you need a project that’s equal parts craft and commentary. And what better commentary than stitching a picture of a man who despises drag culture… in drag?

This pattern isn’t just a craft project; it’s a statement. It’s a reminder that people are complicated, contradictory, and, occasionally, hilarious. It’s a nod to the absurdity of life and the fact that sometimes, the universe serves up irony on a silver platter. And honestly, it’s just a really fun conversation starter. Imagine hanging this masterpiece in your living room and waiting for someone to ask, “Wait, is that… JD Vance?”

How to Use the Pattern (and Embrace the Chaos)

Ready to dive in? Here’s how to get started:

1. Download the Pattern: Click the link below to grab your free PDF. It includes a color guide and stitch count, because even chaos needs a little structure.
2. Gather Your Supplies: You’ll need embroidery floss, Aida cloth, a needle, and an embroidery hoop. Bonus points if you use glittery thread—because if you’re going to stitch JD Vance in drag, you might as well go all out.
3. Stitch with Sass: As you work on this piece, take a moment to appreciate the absurdity of it all. Cross-stitch is a meditative practice, and this pattern is the perfect opportunity to reflect on the beauty of irony.
4. Share Your Masterpiece: Once you’re done, share it with the world. Post it on social media with the hashtag #JDIronyStitch and tag us. Let’s spread the joy (and the sarcasm) far and wide.

Download the Free Pattern

Final Thoughts: Because Life’s Too Short to Take Seriously

At the end of the day, this pattern is about more than just JD Vance. It’s about embracing the absurd, celebrating self-expression, and having a little fun at the expense of hypocrisy. It’s a reminder that no matter how much someone tries to police others’ identities, there’s always a photo from their past that says, “Yeah, but remember when you did this?”

So, grab your needle and thread, and let’s get stitching. Because if there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that life is better with a little glitter—and a whole lot of irony.

Disclaimer: This pattern is intended for personal use and entertainment purposes only. No drag queens were harmed in the making of this cross-stitch. JD Vance’s feelings, however, may be another story.