Free Cross Stitch Pattern: ‘The Fuck I Do?’ Penguin (Because Apparently, Penguins Need Tariffs Now)

Oh, joy! In the latest episode of “What Fresh Hell Is This?”, the U.S. decided to slap tariffs on McDonald Island—a remote, uninhabited speck of land in the Southern Ocean where the only residents are penguins. That’s right. Penguins. Because clearly, those flightless little tuxedo-wearing bastards have been thriving on black-market fish and needed to be taken down a peg.

So, in honor of this galaxy-brain economic policy, I present to you: a free cross stitch pattern featuring a deeply confused penguin asking, “The fuck I do?” Because if anyone deserves to question their life choices right now, it’s these poor birds who just wanted to waddle in peace.

Pattern Details:

• Design: One (1) very done-with-this-shit penguin
• Phrase: “The fuck I do?” (because honestly, what did they do?)
• Skill Level: Beginner-friendly (just like understanding why this tariff exists—oh wait, no one does)

Why This Pattern?

Look, I get it. The world is on fire, logic is dead, and somewhere out there, a bureaucrat is patting themselves on the back for “protecting American interests” from… penguins? But instead of screaming into the void (again), why not channel that existential rage into some therapeutic stitching?

Every time you stab that needle through the fabric, just imagine it’s the absurdity of modern geopolitics. Very cathartic.

FAQ (Frequently Absurd Questions):

Q: Will this pattern help me understand why tariffs were imposed on an island with no humans?
A: No. Nothing will. Accept the madness.

Q: Can I modify the penguin to look like it’s flipping the bird?
A: Absolutely. In fact, I encourage it.

Q: Is this political?
A: No, it’s just a penguin questioning its life choices. Any resemblance to your own internal screaming is purely coincidental.

Final Thoughts:

So grab your floss, pour a drink, and stitch away your confusion. Because if penguins have to live in a world where they’re somehow an economic threat, the least we can do is immortalize their bewilderment in thread.

Happy stitching, you magnificent chaos gremlins.

(Disclaimer: No penguins were consulted in the making of this pattern. They’re too busy dealing with their new status as international trade criminals.)

Like this pattern? Share it with fellow crafters who appreciate sarcasm and/or geopolitical absurdity!