Free Cross Stitch Pattern: JD Vance – America’s Finest Trailer Park Diplomat

Oh, joy! VP JD Vance—former venture capitalist, current professional bootlicker, and Ohio’s very own Hillbilly Elegy hype man—has graced us with his razor-sharp geopolitical insights by calling China’s hardworking citizens “peasants.” How daring. How nuanced. Truly, the man who once wrote a memoir about overcoming his “rough upbringing” (while cozying up to every elite who’d have him) is now an expert on class and dignity.

But let’s be fair—if Vance gets to toss around insults like confetti at a MAGA rally, surely we can return the favor. So, in the spirit of diplomatic reciprocity, I present to you this FREE cross-stitch pattern:

“Hey China, JD Vance is literal trailer trash. Don’t be offended that he called you a peasant. His mama raised him, and she was a hillbilly crackhead.”

Stitch it. Frame it. Hang it in your embassy. Because nothing says “bilateral relations” like reminding the world that the guy calling you backward was raised by a woman who, by his own account, struggled with addiction while he cashed in on her trauma for book sales.

Why This Design?

• Historical Accuracy: If Vance wants to play the “peasant” card, let’s acknowledge that his own origin story involves more meth labs than medieval farmland.
• Bipartisan Appeal: Nothing unites left and right like dunking on a guy who sold his soul to Trump after calling him “America’s Hitler.”
• Craft Therapy: Stitching this will be far more productive than listening to Vance’s Senate speeches.

Final Thoughts

China, darling, don’t take it personally. When a man whose political career is built on loving elites while pretending to hate them calls you names, just smile and remember: his entire brand is being the polished turd of Appalachian stereotypes.

Now go forth and embroider, you glorious, dignified peasants.

[Download the free pattern here!] (Note: May cause butthurt in fragile politicians.)

Happy stitching, and may your needles be as sharp as Vance’s hypocrisy. 🧵🔥