Free Cross-Stitch Pattern: A Tribute to the Supreme Court’s Stellar Legacy

Hey there, fellow crafters and disillusioned citizens! Are you looking for a way to channel your rage into something creative? Do you want to stitch something that truly captures the essence of our beloved Supreme Court? Well, you’re in luck! I’ve designed a free cross-stitch pattern that’s as subtle as a sledgehammer and as classy as a corporate lobbyist’s bank account.

Introducing: “Supreme Court: Serving Corporate Interests Since… Always.”

That’s right, folks. This pattern features a beautifully detailed grave (symbolizing the death of democracy, justice, and common sense) with the perfect epitaph for the highest court in the land. It’s a timeless piece that will look great hanging in your living room, your office, or even outside your local senator’s house.

Why This Pattern?

Let’s be real: the Supreme Court has been serving up some hot garbage lately. Between gutting reproductive rights, cozying up to billionaires, and ruling in favor of corporations over actual human beings, it’s clear that these justices are more interested in serving their corporate overlords than, you know, justice.

So, why not immortalize their stellar track record in thread? This cross-stitch is the perfect way to express your feelings about the current bench of legal “geniuses” who seem to think the Constitution is a suggestion rather than a binding document.

Meet the Justices (or, as I like to call them, the Corporate Dream Team)

Let’s take a moment to appreciate the brilliant minds behind some of the worst decisions in recent history:

• Clarence Thomas: The guy who literally can’t stop accepting luxury vacations from billionaires. But hey, who needs ethics when you’ve got a private jet and a yacht, right?
• Samuel Alito: The man who thinks overturning Roe v. Wade was a great idea and that women’s rights are just so last century.
• Brett Kavanaugh: Because nothing says “qualified” like a lifetime appointment after a hearing that felt like a frat house reunion.
• Amy Coney Barrett: The queen of “originalism,” which apparently means interpreting the Constitution in the most regressive way possible.
• John Roberts: The so-called “moderate” who somehow always finds a way to side with the rich and powerful.

Aren’t they just adorable?

How to Use This Pattern

1. Stitch It: Grab your favorite black thread (because this is a dark time in history) and get to work. The grave is a nice touch, don’t you think?
2. Gift It: Know someone who’s equally fed up with the Supreme Court? This makes a great housewarming gift!
3. Display It: Hang it proudly in your home, office, or local community center. Bonus points if you send a photo to your representatives.

Final Thoughts

In a world where the Supreme Court seems hell-bent on dismantling every shred of progress we’ve made, it’s important to find ways to cope. For some, that means protesting. For others, it means writing angry tweets. But for us crafters, it means stitching our feelings into existence.

So, grab your needle and thread, and let’s make something beautiful out of this dumpster fire. Because if we don’t laugh (or stitch), we’ll cry.

Download the Free Pattern Here: 

Happy stitching, and remember: the Supreme Court may serve corporate interests, but at least we’ve got sarcasm and cross-stitch.

Disclaimer: This blog post is 100% sarcastic and 100% accurate. No justices were harmed in the making of this pattern, but their legacies certainly were.