Free Printable Cross Stitch Pattern: ‘86 47’ – Because Subtlety is Dead and So is Democracy

Oh, happy day! Here’s a delightfully passive-aggressive cross-stitch project to keep you busy while America’s democracy takes its final, wheezing breaths under the benevolent rule of Trump’s regime. Who needs functioning institutions when you can stab fabric repeatedly with a needle? Cathartic and crafty!

Introducing: The “86 47” Cross Stitch Pattern!

That’s right—“86 47”. It’s not just a cute little number combo; it’s a coded cry for help from the resistance (or what’s left of it). For those not in the know:

“86” = Kitchen slang for “get this garbage off the menu” (or, in this case, out of the White House).
“47” = The current occupant of the Oval Office, who seems to think the Constitution is just a suggestion.

Stitch it. Hang it. Wear it as a protest badge when they start rounding up dissenters. Art is power, or at least it will be until they ban that, too.

Why This Pattern?

It’s the perfect gift for the friend who still thinks “checks and balances” exist.
It’s a historical artifact for when future generations ask, “Wait, you guys just let this happen?”
It’s a therapeutic outlet for the rage that builds every time the Supreme Court rules that, actually, dictatorship is cool now.

How to Use This Masterpiece:

Print the pattern (quickly, before the FCC declares it “hate speech”).
Stitch furiously (each X is a tiny scream into the void).
Display prominently on your fridge, next to the expired coupons and your last shred of hope.

Materials Needed:

Aida cloth (preferably in black, for mourning).
Red thread (for the blood of democracy).
White thread (for the alleged innocence of the GOP).
A thimble (to protect your finger when you inevitably punch the wall).

Final Thoughts:

In a better timeline, we’d be stitching cute kittens or inspirational quotes. But here we are, counting down the days until someone finally flips the “OFF” switch on this experiment in fascism. So grab your needle, comrades—we’ve got a regime to 86.

Download your free “86 47” pattern [here]—assuming the Ministry of Truth hasn’t blocked it yet. Happy stitching, and may the odds be ever in your favor.

Disclaimer: This post is satire. The authoritarian takeover? Unfortunately, very real. Stay angry. Stay loud. And for the love of god, VOTE.

Need it even more scathing? Or should we start working on the “Welcome to Gilead” sampler next?