“ACAB (All Conservatives Are Bastards)” – A Free Mushroom Cross Stitch Pattern for the Revolution

Do you love cottagecore aesthetics but also believe in burning down oppressive systems? Same. That’s why I designed this whimsical little cross stitch pattern—a delightful bouquet of mushrooms with a spicy message for anyone who still thinks conservatism is anything but a hateful scam.

🍄 Free Pattern: “ACAB (All Conservatives Are Bastards)” 🍄

Because nothing says “I believe in freedom” like stitching your contempt for the party of book bans, queerphobia, and cops who’d rather brutalize protesters than protect children from bullets.

[INSERT DOWNLOAD LINK HERE] (Unlike conservatives, I actually believe in free things for the people.)

Why This Design?

• Aesthetic: Soft mushrooms, hard message. The juxtaposition is chef’s kiss.
• Statement: If you’re going to piss off your racist uncle, do it with style. Hang this in your garden, your anarchist book club, or your local Proud Boy’s nightmares.
• Therapy: Every stitch is a tiny rebellion. Imagine each one is another conservative policy crumbling into dust.

For Best Results:

• Stitch this while blasting Rage Against the Machine or the sound of Ted Cruz’s dignity leaving his body.
• Gift it to your libertarian cousin who still thinks “taxation is theft” is a personality. (Watch them short-circuit.)
• Display it proudly next to your “Abolish the Police” tote bag and your collection of expired voter suppression laws.

So grab your needle, your floss, and your righteous fury—because the revolution will be handmade.

🔥 Stay fungal. Stay furious. 🔥