3 Free Printable Cross Stitch Patterns: Pope Leo XIV, the Midwest’s Holiest

Americans have a proud tradition of making fun of everything—especially when it comes from their own backyard. So when the news broke that the new Pope Leo XIV hails from Chicago, Illinois, the jokes practically wrote themselves.

To honor this glorious moment in fake ecclesiastical history, we’ve created three free printable cross stitch patterns celebrating His Holiness’ most legendary (and entirely fictional) deeds.

1. “Pope Leo XIV: A Midwesterner Putting the ‘Ope’ in Pope”

The Midwest is known for its “ope, just gonna sneak past ya” energy, and now, it’s blessed the papacy. This pattern immortalizes the moment Pope Leo XIV accidentally absolved a sinner while reaching for the last piece of hot dish at a church potluck.

2. “Pope Leo XIV Baptized King Von”

In an unexpected twist of faith and drill music history, Pope Leo XIV took it upon himself to baptize the late Chicago rap legend King Von. The sacred moment was reportedly accompanied by a choir of angels harmonizing with “Took Her to the O.”

3. “Pope Leo XIV Baptized Chief Keef”

When the Pope is from Chicago, you have to acknowledge the city’s musical saints. This pattern captures the sacred (and slightly chaotic) moment when Chief Keef was baptized in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy “Love Sosa” Spirit.

Why These Patterns?

Because if we don’t laugh at ourselves, who will? These designs are a playful nod to the idea of a Midwestern pope—complete with regional quirks and Chicago’s unique cultural footprint. Print ‘em, stitch ‘em, and display them proudly (maybe even in your local church basement next to the coffee hour sign-up sheet).

Happy stitching, and may the holy “ope” be with you!